The dreaded farrier visit was today!!

Hi all.

I don't know if you remember me talking about the nasty lady at my barn, who severely criticizes my lack of horsemanship skills and Fanny's faults. She stood over my shoulder the last time the farrier was at our barn and then criticized my lack of control over Fanny when Fanny cleverly upset the garbage bin. Needless to say, I was dreading today's farrier visit, to see what could possibly go wrong in this lady's eyes, to criticize me further. My husband is on holidays this week, so he came with me to the barn for moral support )

I have been doing more ground work with Fanny since the last farrier visit, so before our appointment I took Fanny out to the arena and did the "pre-flight" check with her - a series of exercises to get her tuned in to me (side passes, bends, some trotting work, backing up, etc.).

My appointment with the farrier was at 1:00. I kept watching for his vehicle, then asked Sheldon to go wait by the barn for him when the time grew near, and to come get me when he arrives. When Sheldon walked past the barn, the nasty lady, who was also waiting for the same farrier, already had her horse tied up in the designated area!!! He told her that we thought Fanny was first, to which she stuttered and stammered and said, "Oh...okay, my appointment isn't until 2:00 anyway.". Do you see what she's like??!!! If Sheldon hadn't been there, she would've taken advantage of me yet again and bulled her way into my appointment time!! I was not impressed, but this is how sneaky she is.

Anyway...the farrier came and Fanny was absolutely PERFECT!!!!!! Sheldon and I were so proud of her!!! She stood so still and was gentle and calm. She was brilliant! The farrier likes her and he was joking around about how she upset the garbage bin the last time he was there, and he said he likes a horse with spunk and personality and playfulness. I told him that I thought it was rather clever of her that she figured out how to open the garbage ) He had a lot of nice things to say about Fanny, which was wonderful to hear...and the icing on the cake is that the nasty lady was standing and watching over my shoulder again, so she heard it all too!!! LOL!!! No doubt she'll come up with something negative to say about the whole thing, but I seriously don't care, because I know that Fanny was great today.

So sorry to ramble, but I'm just so thrilled. It was also great to find out that the farrier books each horse individually, rather than saying that he's showing up at a certain time and it's first come, first served. Now that I know that, the next time he comes I will have no problem telling the nasty lady to wait her turn if she is scheduled after me.

Cyndi

Sounds like things are much improved with you and Fanny, great. I remember one yard I used to be on with about 30 horses, they would just put up a note saying 'farrier coming' and it was first come, first served. If you wanted your pony shod you had to be there before 7:00am and the farrier didin't come until 10:00!
Remeber this woman only knows what she knows.
What YOU know is much more worth knowing.
Have faith in yourself!

People who say things like that make a barn a negative environment to be in. I remember a woman that was at a barn I was working at that was like that. Always criticizing when her own horses were the worst in the barn and on and on.

Talk to the barn owner. It's horrible to see your experience turn negative because of anothers negativity.


I love those days when a horse that previously did something embarrassing turns around and wows people.

Sydney, I did talk to the barn owner...who happens to be this lady's future father-in-law!!!! He knows that she is awful, and says that she needs to mature, but I don't think he says a thing to her about it.

Everyone at the barn knows what she's like, because they've all been subject to her scrutiny and gossip, so no one really cares what she says or thinks. There is certainly a negativity in the barn though, because no one knows if the other person is as bad as this lady says they are, etc... There is only one other lady (her horse is in Fanny's field) that I can actually talk to, otherwise everyone else is just a polite hello - the trust is low. I just try to be as friendly with my hellos as possible The issue I have is that it doesn't sit well with me that she gets away with saying all these things. I would like to confront her on it and let her know that we are all aware of what she's doing and we're not happy about it. But if I confront her, she will pout and feel sorry for herself and make me look like the barn bully. Sigh. I'm not going to worry about it because with taking riding lessons elsewhere, I may end up moving Fanny anyway.

~C~

Have you tried agreeing with her? That usually shuts them up if you do it right. You have to lay it on really thick, when she says you are wrong in something, say, "Gosh, I know, I'm just SOOO stupid, really I don't know how I get dressed in the morning, would you show me a better way to do it please?"
Or if you are not brave enough to be obvious, then REALLY agree with her, ask her advice how to do it 'properly', but absolutely everything she says ask "Why do you do it like that? Why does that work? Why why why..." eventually she will get to think you are beyond helping and will leave you alone.

I might say stuff like that to her, but she never says any of this to my face, it's always gossip behind my back. That's what makes it very frustrating. If I was to say, "I heard that you said 'so and so' about me and Fanny", then she'd deny that she said anything negative. I tell ya, she's a sneaky one. LOL

Well done you, sounds like your relationship with Fanny is growing just fine

Ignore this lady at your yard, you don't need her good opinion, its a shame that she talks about you behind your back but sadly thats human nature and a sign of her own insecurity.
Here you are a relative newcomer to horse keeping and instead of allowing yourself to be taken under the wing of somebody more experienced to learn the traditional ways, you are thinking about what you what in your relationship and listening to your horse. This is challenging their long held beliefs in horsemanship, of course they are looking for you to fail because they will believe that every achievement you have with your ways brings their own methods into question. And they wouldn't want to be wrong and a newbie be right now would they

So from one 'yard freak' to another, ignore them, do what feels right and we will be here to add support

Excellent stuff, and your farrier sounds great. So glad that Fanny did you proud!

Who knows why nasty people like that act the way the do, just know that it's their problem not yours.

There is one lady who tells me what gossip is being spread about me, and she tells me just so that I know about it. It makes her mad that these things are said, and she is beginning to avoid anything more than polite chit-chatting with the nasty lady. I know her heart is in the right place, but perhaps what I should do is tell her NOT to tell me what is being said about me! I can't fret about what I don't know!!!

I am truly grateful for all of you and your encouragement! As 'sad' as it is that I have to find like minds across an ocean, I am so thankful for technology that allows me to do so!!

Yeah, it's a shame, 'cause we all want to ride over to your yard bitless, shoeless and bareback and go out for a ride with you! Pity we can't have a virtual ride - or can we? Anyone got any ideas?

Theres a lot of horse sim games out there
Virtural horse ranch
Howrse
horse isle (browser RPG)
umm, I know theres more out there.

a virtual ride - that sounds really cool!
seriously though - we could all send you a photo of us in action bitless et all!